Transgendered - Sarah Lynn's Journey To Womanhood

Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

2007-10-10T22:43:34Z

Leaders in the U.S. House say we can't pass a version of ENDA that includes all gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. They say they just don't have enough votes.

We have 10 days – or less – to prove them wrong.

But we have our work cut out for us. We still need to change the hearts and minds of more than a few Members of Congress. We succeeded in getting the House to delay their vote for no more than 10 days – so we have a very short window of opportunity.

Can you get 10 of your friends to make a call to Congress in the next 10 days?

I pledge to join the "10 in 10" campaign and get 10 friends to call Congress!

The issue at hand is which version of ENDA will pass the House. The inclusive version? Or the new version that leaves part of the GLBT community behind?

Since last week, when House leaders decided to move a version of ENDA that includes sexual orientation only, we have been working around the clock to make sure the original bill, HR 2015, which includes sexual orientation and gender identity, is the version that Congress considers.

Supporters like you have generated 80,000 emails, calls, letters, and visits to members of Congress to support the right version of ENDA – the inclusive version – and we thank you! We have 10 days or less to show Congress that our community will not be divided.

Take the pledge and get 10 friends involved!

People like Susan Stanton understand why this is so important. Susan had been the City Manager in Largo, FL, for about 14 years, and had received excellent job evaluations, when a news article reported that she was transgender and planning to transition from a man to a woman. City commissioners fired her six days later.

Our HRC Board of Directors – joined by other HRC citizen volunteers – went to Capitol Hill in recent days to personally lobby members of Congress to pass HR 2015. HRC has coordinated more lobby visits on this issue than any other GLBT or allied organization. But it won't be enough unless the public support is overwhelming.

We need you and your friends to be part of these efforts by pledging to contact 10 people today, no matter your representative's position on the bill. Even our allies need to know how strong our support is for an ENDA that covers the full GLBT community.

Take the "10 in 10" pledge now!

Scroll down for a letter you can send your friends and family right now. And thank you for helping us fight for equality for all GLBT people, together.

Warmly,

Joe Solmonese
President

P.S. Forward the message below, right now!

Hi,

In most states, you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, regardless of your performance or qualifications. That's just not right.

The Human Rights Campaign is leading the charge to end this injustice by passing a federal bill called the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). But Congressional leaders recently decided to change the language of ENDA so that it only includes sexual orientation and NOT gender identity.

I contacted Congress to make sure the entire GLBT community is included in ENDA. I'm hoping you'll join me, and then tell 10 more friends in the next 10 days. We have a short window of opportunity on this one.

Please join me at:
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/enda_oct

The Woman Who Used To Live In The Mirror.

2007-09-22T18:39:05Z

I read this on Diane Wilson's website and thought it was really good. http://www.firelily.com/fiction/mirror.woman.html

It was the first time I'd ever gone anywhere in a dress. When I got home, there she was, looking back at me from the mirror. She wasn't me, but she couldn't exist without me, either. We both knew that.

"We're going to do this again," she told me. She studied my clothes, as if they were hers. She looked distracted, though; something else was on her mind. It was to become her obsession--going out, other chances for her to escape from the mirror. I could feel the power of that obsession, even then. She scared me; I didn't want to admit that I knew her.

I didn't want to leave her there, either, but I was tired and needed to sleep. As I took off my clothes, pieces of her disappeared until no one was left in the mirror but me.

I didn't like the way that felt. She couldn't exist except in my presence, and I'd sent her away. I hadn't known what else to do. But when she leaped from my eyes to the mirror, she took with her my hidden desire to be--her. Now that she was gone, she still had my desire. She'd left me incomplete.

I began to look for other opportunities to let her out of the mirror. Going to the post office at midnight to buy stamps from the machine. Returning movies after the video store had closed. Even standing out on the balcony during a thunderstorm at night. Going out was her special thrill. She always knew how far she was from the mirror, how far her clothes were from my closet.

I took her shopping, or she took me, or we took each other. All she needed was for me to wear something of hers, and she was with me. At first her selections were unlike anything I'd wear--sexy, even slutty. What she needed, she said, was not to be me. After a while, her selections improved; they were more like the kind of clothes a woman my age, my height, my weight would wear. She looked good in them, too. This was a woman I could learn to like.

But it scared me to go out in public as her; I was sure someone would know. So we shopped by phone more than in person. I thought that would be enough for her, but she needed to wear the things that we bought, needed to wear them in public. "Why don't we go out more?" she asked. She wouldn't listen to my fear.

Sometimes we used my computer to talk to other mirror-women. "Where do you go when you're out?" she'd ask. "What are you wearing?" they'd say. Black leotard and a denim skirt. Turtleneck and jeans. Sometimes they asked more personal questions, but she never answered those. Soon she knew what kind of people would ask those questions even before they spoke.

One day she said, "I want your body."

That scared me. Did she know what she was asking? This was the moment I'd been dreading, a moment that other mirror-women had told us about. What she wanted was not temporary. "We'll talk about it," I said; maybe we could work out an arrangement. I wasn't the person she wanted to talk to, though.

We found a therapist who knew about mirror-women. After all the times we'd shared, suddenly it was her against me. We were both frightened: I could lose my body. She could lose her life. A word from the therapist, and one of us could die.

A word was all the therapist said. She held up a mirror to us and said, "Count." There was only one image in the mirror. The mirror-woman had known all along which of us it would be.

There was no stopping my mirror-woman now. She wanted me to go on hormones. "Whose body is this?" I asked, but her therapist said, "Yes." "Whose body is this?" I asked, but she sat at my computer and listened to other mirror-women. "Do it!" they said. "Do it! Do it!" "I'm jealous," one said; "I wish I could do that." "I did it, and I never looked back," another said. "Do it!"

"Whose body is this?" I asked, but my voice was lost among the mirror-voices.

With the hormones, she no longer needed for me to wear her clothes in order to steal my body. I now shopped openly for her clothes, even when dressed as me. When we went to a store, I never knew whose voice would speak to the clerk--mine or hers.

With the hormones, I grew breasts. My face changed, my hips changed, other things changed. She was thrilled, and while I shared in her thrill, my fear grew as well. This was the only body I'd ever known, and I no longer knew whose body it was.

She still wasn't satisfied. "I want a name," she said.

"But you already have one," I said.

"That's just between us. My body needs a name, too; it needs a proper name."

"A female name, you mean." Cold crept up my spine.

"Of course." She already knew how to do it; her mirror-friends had told her. We went to the courthouse and posted the notice. Old name, mine. New name, hers. Wait ten days, and pay a fee.

I no longer wanted to ask whose body it was. She had her mirror-friends, she had her therapist, and now she had me. What did I have?

I found out one night when she sat on the end of my bed and looked in the mirror. Her own image looked back from the mirror. She was in both places, and I was in neither. "Whose life is this?" I asked, but I knew.

"You can live in my old room," she said, pointing to her heart--the heart that used to be mine. I looked into the place where she had lived all my life. I knew beyond question why she'd wanted out, but I also knew that my alternatives were worse--I knew what other mirror-women did with their men.

"Promise me this," I said. "Promise you'll take no more from me."

She promised. But even in this, I was to learn, she was selfish.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright © 1995, 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.

Two Years In Georgia-Two Years Old As Sarah

2007-09-17T23:40:47Z

Today I have been living in Georgia as Sarah for two years. I now consider 9-14 as my new birth date. When I moved here two years ago I left all family and friends behind in search of peace, happiness and to find my true self. As far as peace goes in my own mind I have found some but I'm not sure I will ever find total peace. There is always the nagging questions, did I do the right thing, did I hurt to many people for my own peace of mind and then there are always people I meet or just see while out shopping that won't let me have any peace of mind with there dirty looks and rude comments. There is always someone waiting to remind You that Your not a real girl, they judge me by my looks never taking time to know me. But I've found a little peace in knowing that as Sarah I'm a very caring and loving person and no matter what I do there will always be people ready to put me down and that I feel is there lose.

As far as happiness, yes I think I'm happy. I'm Sarah all the time except for work ( which I hope to change soon ) even then if not in my looks at least in my mind I'm Sarah. I'm starting to meet and make new friends. I love going shopping, I need so many things, all these years collecting male clothes and memories and only two years as Sarah, leaves a lot of catching up to do. I've been on hormones for almost 3 years now and I love the way my mind and body have changed. I am starting hair removal in a few weeks :) it's a big step for me, I hate shaving! I look forward to other changes in the future to help me look a little more feminine. I'm not asking for miracles but just a little help, lol. I'm not happy about losing my family and friends back in NY, but I hope someday to at least gain acceptance if not love from some of them. I dream of going back home but I'm really not sure if I can ever go home, then NY was bill's home not Sarah's so maybe I'm already home or maybe I've yet to find Sarah's home? But all in all I'm as happy as I can expect starting life all over again.

Have I found my true self? I think I'm on the right road finally but my journey has just begun. After all these years of hiding who I am and the battles in my own mind it's hard to say but in my heart I know this is who I am. I'm finally being true to Sarah. Sarah is getting her chance to shine and blossom into the woman she was born to be.

I look forward to my future as Sarah. I know I still have a lot of heartbreak ahead but I have become so confident and proud as Sarah and I know I am doing the right thing, I think I'll be able to find my peace and happiness. If not in this lifetime then I'll have to try harder in my next, sooner or later I'll get it right.

The New And Improved Sexy Sarah Lynn

2007-08-29T16:31:07Z

Telling My Sister I'm Transgendered.

2007-08-25T00:09:40Z

After two years of living in Georgia as Sarah, I decided it was time to tell someone in my family that I am transgendered. I moved here to hide it from and protect them but I have become more content with the person I am and thought it was time to start telling my family the real reason I moved away.

I chose my older sister to tell first because we always got along growing up and I knew if she did not agree with who I am that she would not tell anyone else and would at least respect my privacy. When we were younger we would always be doing things that our parents would not like but no matter what, we looked out for each other and did our best to protect each other, even today I miss those days and often think of how different it might have been if I was her sister then. But I did still love being her younger brother and looking out for her and her for me, I will never forget those days.

So I decided to take the easy way out and email her, we do not live close to each other so I thought this might be the best way. I sent Her a email but gave her plenty of warning not to read past the first paragraph if she couldn't handle the truth of who her brother was. I told her in brief the truth about my being transgendered. I didn't go into great detail but she got the point. I was so scared and for two days I cried and wished I could take the email back, I thought the worst. I should say that she doesn't have access to a computer everyday, so two days was not really that bad to wait for a response, but it felt like a life time to me. I got home from work Monday to find a email from her. I sat there for what felt like hours afraid to push the read email button. Then before I even had the courage to open it I received a phone call from her. The first thing she said was "I Love You" or at least that was the first thing I remember her saying, as I was kind of shocked to hear her voice. She went on to say that she even had thoughts about me being trans before but always put them aside. She said she wished I would have told her sooner instead of hiding it all my life. Then She told be that the one thing that has helped her was me telling her awhile back when She was having problems that, "We only live once and we all are getting older and that we need to live our own lives before it's to late." After that we both just started crying, I'm not sure I have the words to describe how happy I was. I sent her two pics of me as Sarah Lynn, and she said that I looked pretty good as a girl, which was a great compliment. To be honest I think I look somewhat like her, but she is much better looking. We are going to make plans to get together soon, and I can't wait to see her.

At this time I'm not sure how or when I'm going to tell my other three sisters or my kids for that matter. I know that I have to do it soon and thanks to my big sister it might be sooner than later. She has given me the courage to be honest with people about my gender. Although I can not expect the same results, I at least know that I have one sister who will love me as Sarah. I know some may say that I should have told everyone at once but I needed to test the waters first because I could not have taken rejection from everyone at once. Maybe I should have more faith in the people I love and those that love me? I hope now I have that faith no matter where things go from here.

Four Days Of Being Just Sarah Lynn.

2007-05-29T00:56:55Z

This weekend I had four days off starting with getting out of work early Thursday. I got home Thursday afternoon and showered and shaved. Then I polished my nails and put on my makeup and got dressed as Sarah, leaving bill behind until tuesday morning. I was so excited to not have to switch back and forth from bill to Sarah. Not having to spend my days at work pretending to be bill and thinking about Sarah. For me one of the hardest things is being two different people everyday.

The weekend was great. Lots of sun, shopping, food and spending time with friends. It felt so good to go to bed at night and know I could wake up as Sarah. Not worrying about every night making sure I get all my makeup off, remove all nail polish and all signs of Sarah,and getting back into bill mode.

This weekend was just a peek at what life could really be like and how happy I could be.
But it's Monday night and here I sit getting ready for bill to appear again. Maybe someday I will find a way to be Sarah 24/7, but for now I'll just have to live for times like this past weekend.

Hugs Sarah Lynn

Shopping For Male Work Clothes.

2007-04-28T23:57:10Z

Today I had to do something I haven't done for quit sometime, I shopped for male clothes. I have not bought anything for bill in so long I forgot just how much men's clothes really suck. Since summer is coming and the weather is warming up I needed new work shirts. The problem being, since my breast have grown I can no longer wear just t-shirts. I work construction and the last few days the guys I work with where working in t-shirts or no shirt, while I am wearing a t-shirt plus a long sleeve plaid winter shirt. They even asked me a couple times why I don't take my shirt off, boy would they get a surprise, it would look like wet t-shirt night at the local club. Then again they might like it lol.

So I went looking for a few new shirts, more summer type with short sleeves. I must say I shopped as my male self ,which I hated. It felt so weir shopping as bill looking for male clothing. If You saw my room, You would understand. My closet is full of Sarah clothes except for three pairs of work jeans and four or five work shirts. I have a total of nine drawers in my dressers with only one having male clothes. Even when I do run to the store or go out as bill,I'm wearing girls underwear and jeans, along with girl sneakers and most of my shirts would pass as either male or female. The only time I'm totally bill is at work, while not even then I always wear women's underwear lol. Anyway I looked around and found a couple of shirts which I hated but needed. I felt so strange, like it wasn't really me shopping. I felt out of place even though I was in male mode. All I was thinking about is going over to the girls department and finding something girlie to wear, I hated wasting Sarah's money on bill. What a weird thought that was, Sarah hating spending money on bill, even though I knew he needed the clothes. It was almost like bill was just some guy Sarah knew and she was not happy buying him clothes, when she needs so much herself. I guess Sarah is a little selfish lol. Sitting here now thinking about it, I realize just how much I am Sarah and what little there is left of bill. It's sad in away to see bill go but also great to realize that finally my body and mind are truly becoming one as Sarah, the person I was born to be.

Are there any other girls or guys going there going through the same thing? I would love to hear Your thoughts and stories. Hugs Sarah Lynn

I Hate Birthdays!

2007-04-05T13:22:26Z

Another birthday has past which to me just means I'm another year older. I use to enjoy birthdays but today I hate them. For me my birthday is just another day to remind me just how lonely a transgendered girls life can be. I started the week hoping that maybe this year would be different maybe someone really does care about me and last years birthday when no one even remembered was just a mistake. Hoping to at least get a phone call or card from my family back in NY and thinking that surely my friends would would remember. I did get cards from all my sisters which was really nice, I love them all. Still thinking my wife and kids may remember I stopped at the post office twice a day this week to check for even one card but everyday was the same, a empty box. After stopping on my birthday I finally realize that there would be no cards this year. But still holding out hope I thought to myself there is still time they may all call. Going home early from work I sat in my room thinking someone will remember, but as the hours went by I began to realize that no one was going to call, no was going to say happy birthday. I decided to go to the store to get some beer and maybe drink the night away and forget. Well it didn't work, drinking only made me more depressed. If not for one friend making me a card and saying happy birthday, my birthday would have past without ever hearing those words from family or friends.But I some how got thru the night. So I sit here this morning thinking about what a mess my life has become. I didn't expect much all I was hopping for was someone to say happy birthday, to let me know that I'm still loved. I guess I can't really blame my family or friends it was my choice to live the rest of my life as Sarah and they do not except her, so why should I expect them to say happy birthday to someone they don't really know.

Just A Thought About Mood Swings.

2007-03-05T01:20:08Z

Just a thought and maybe a question to any one who might read my journal. When do the hi and low moods end or will they end? Most days I feel so great and I love being Sarah but then there are days where the littlest thing will send me into a sort of depression or bad mood. I might not even know the reason for my mood swing but there I am all of a sudden depressed. I might cry some or just lock myself away in my room or even at times be a little mean to my friends without even knowing why I'm acting this way.

I've been on hormones for almost 3 years now so I'm not sure if they would still cause mood swings. Maybe it's just part of being a girl. Maybe it's the weather or maybe I'm missing my family. I'm really not sure, but I wish they would stop. But how can You stop something when Your not sure why it happens? Does this happen to other girls like me, or is this just a normal part of life. I'm not really sure but I don't remember having bad mood swings before starting hormones. But then again I'm not sure if I was ever really happy before and maybe now that I'm loving being Sarah and happy my mood swings just seem that much worse. Well, I may never know the answer but if not I hope I can learn to handle them a little better. Being a girl is really harder than I ever thought, but I wouldn't go back for anything.

Spending The Day With My Best Friend.

2007-03-01T00:38:38Z

Today was such a beautiful day weather wise but what made it even nicer is that I got to spend the day with my best friend. This morning we got dressed up and headed out for a long ride and a little shopping. I love just riding around in our car in the sunshine with the windows down and a warm breeze to blow my hair. Of course also with our favorite music blaring away. When we do turn the music down it gives us a chance to talk about girlie things, guys, or just about how things are going in our lives. It was such a special time for me.

We also did a little shopping. With the help of my friend I picked out a new wig, to tell the truth I count on Her to pick out what looks good on me. She has such great taste, I love having Her help me. I just love my new wig it's so pretty and soft and the color really looks good on me. This may be our best choice in wigs yet. She had to tell me to quit looking in the mirror all the way home, but I couldn't help it, lol.

All in all We got to enjoy a great day out in the sun, listen to some good music, share our thoughts on life and enjoy the day.

Transgender... An inspirational video

2007-02-10T08:24:44Z

Buying Hormones At A Drug Store

2007-01-13T13:36:48Z

About a month ago I took my hormone prescription to a local drug store, it was my first time at this drug store. To say they were rude and disrespectfull would be a understatement. Everything was fine until the lady read what my scripts where, then she took them back to another person, as they where talking about them I could see them looking at me with disgust on there faces. When she came back she said "I need to see some form of id" well I've never been ask that before. After showing her my license she told me it would take about fifteen minutes. While waiting for my medicine to be ready I could see all three of them talking and looking at me, so I decided to take a walk around the store to get out of their view. When they called my name I went to the counter to find not only the pharmacist waiting for me but also the other two ladies. As I was getting my money out to pay, the pharmacist said "I need to ask You a question, why is Your doctor prescribing these meds for You?" (I take 3 meds, estradiol, spironolactone, and avodart) I looked up to see all three looking at me waiting for my answer, being shocked by the question I really didn't know what to say, so I just said "I'm transgendered." Well talk about shock, you should have seen the look on their faces. I don't think I've ever had three people look at me in more of a disgusting and degrading way. All I wanted was to get my change and leave as quick as possible. The pharmacist gave me my change and without another word of I left. After getting home and telling Mistress about it, we both decided that they all knew what I was taking the meds for, but they just wanted to embarrass me by having be say it. We thought about telling the main office about their rudeness, but I couldn't do it. Even though they were rude and mean to me I couldn't report them. I guess I'm to passive and try to avoid conflict or maybe I was just to scared and wanted to forget it happen.

Today my scripts ran out and I had to go back to the drugstore. Since my last trip I have grown quite a bit. Maybe it was my new wig, or the trip out to a club alone or maybe it was the talks I've had with Mistress about my needing to get more confidence and being more secure in the person I am, or maybe even the hormones and the way my body has changed. For what ever reason I decided to go back to the drug store, but this time dressed as Sarah. I figured if they wanted to know why I was taking hormones I'd show them. I dressed sexy, low cut top, tight black pants, and a white blouse making sure my breasts where visible. As Mistress said, "I didn't want to go looking slutty, but a sophisticated sexy look would be perfect, so that's the look I was going for."

I went to the counter and the same three people were working. I took my script to the same lady as last time, She said "Good morning miss" Then she looked at my scripts and just smiled and said "they will be ready in about ten minutes, I'll call you." This time I walked around the counter so all three of them could get a good look, only this time I had the smile on my face and was not afraid of them looking at me. After a few minutes I went up front to look at some makeup, then I heard them call me over the loud speaker, They used my first and last man name. Not wanting to go right away because of that I waited a few minutes, then they called me again and for what ever reason they just used my last name this time. Maybe they realized using my first name would be embarrassing, I hope this was the reason. I went to the counter this time but the pharmacist did not come over, only one lady checked me out this time being very nice and smiling and calling me miss. I left the store smiling and thinking that maybe in my own way and with my new confidence I might have changed their minds on how they look at and treat transgendered people. I hope this was the case, because that's all we can do is try to educate people and try to show them that we are people too and we have feelings. I hope that maybe my trips to this drug store will make it easier for the next trans, gay or just so called different person to get their meds without facing ignorance. So I'm proud of myself today, Maybe I have changed the way three people look at transgendered people just a little bit and the way I look and feel about myself also, it was all worth it!

The New And Improved Sarah Lynn

2007-01-08T18:44:01Z

This newest photo was taken during a sissy shopping saturday by my Mistress at the end of 2006, as you can see my body has undergone many changes since I began hormone therapy. Most noticable of course are my breasts which by the way are not implants or falsies. Those babies are really all mine and I love showing them off now.

Learning To Love Life As Sarah Lynn

2007-01-05T19:06:28Z

Well finally I have my computer fixed, it's so good to be on line again. Since my last post somethings have changed in my life and My body is totally changing, the hormones are really starting to work and I love it. I have become more confident in who I am, I'm starting to go out more and even going out alone. I guess in the last few months I have learned that there is a place in this world for girls like me. Like with any other person no matter your sex, it is up to each person to make there own way and find there own happiness. I still at times get bad comments or disgusting looks from people, but I don't let it bother me any more. Sure it's no fun seeing people laugh at me, but I now know it's because of their own ignorance, and lack of compassion toward people who dare to be different or dare to be themselves. In a way I feel sorry for people like that, what a boring life they must have living in there own little world and being afraid of things they don't understand. What's even worst is they are afraid to even try to understand. They all run to church every Sunday and talk about loving Your neighbor and that god loves everyone, but the minute they meet someone like me they say god hates people like you and You'll go to hell for they way You are. They laugh and point at me and talk about how weird I am. They forget about ever thing they preach in church, but the thing for me is I now know that Goddess and God both love me no matter what, they made us all different, if not what a boring world this would be.

So on with life I go, learning new things everyday, and not letting the small things bother me. I love who I am. I have a long ways to go to become the woman I want to be, but I'm on my way . I have even met two guys in the last few months, one I may even see tonight. What a weird feeling to have guys hitting on me, but I do love it and who knows many someday I will find that there is a special guy out there just for me.

All Dressed Up With No Place To Go.

2006-09-24T10:27:17Z

This week has not been a good one.Earlier in the week I got a call from not only one family member, but no sooner did I finish talking to them and another called. It seems they were trying to make me feel bad about being here in Georgia instead of home in NY. It's not really that what they said was bad, because they don't really know all the truth about why I'm here. I can't get into the details, but these calls really upset me. Maybe the time has come to tell them all about Sarah, I'm not really sure what to do.

Then this week end I was hoping to get a call from a guy I met a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers and he said he'd call and maybe we could go out to a club together. Well I never did get that call. I'm not really sure if I would have gone anyway, this is really all new to me and I'm not sure about going out with someone I just met. But him not calling at all was disappointing.

I get so lonely at times, not for friendship because I have friends who really care about me. I guess I just need someone special to hold me at times and tell me everything will be ok, that being Sarah is the right thing to do.Maybe I'm rushing things a little bit, maybe it's to soon to be hoping for someone special in my life. Maybe it will never happen. I just have this feeling that time is running out on me, which maybe is why I'm in such a hurry, or maybe it's just the loneliness that makes me so desperate to be loved.

So saturday night I decided I'd go out to a local club alone. I got all dressed up and ready to go, then I chickened out. I've never been to a club alone, my friends have always been with me. The clubs close to us are pretty much straight clubs sort of redneck, so I'm pretty much alone as far as trans people go. Being with my friends I feel safe, but alone I feel vulnerable and scared. So I sat in my room alone all dressed up, scared and disappointed in myself. I drank myself to sleep hoping that maybe in my dreams I could find peace.

It seems that life as Sarah is one step forward and two back. One day I'm happy and thinking things are going to work out, only to wake the next morning to find yesterday was just a dream. I never thought being myself would be this hard.

A Weekend With My Mistress And Slave Jezzy

2006-07-09T23:40:02Z

This weekend Mistress Malice's newest slave Jezzy came to Athens all the way from Las Vegas for a visit. It is always fun meeting the other personal slaves owned by my Mistress and spending time with them. Being Mistress Malice's live in slave, one of my duties is to prepare the dungeon for Her when a slave visits. I love the dungeon, it is so cool how Mistress is always changing and updating the equipment and toys in there. Mistress loves to design Her own equipment for use in the dungeon, so She'll have items that no one else ever will. Slave Dirty and I are often busy building her new designs, but we both love the work we do for our Mistress. Mistress will be posting pictures soon of some of the new pieces we have built for Her lately, so be looking for them.

I met Jezzy Friday night as we were all going out to a local club in Athens. Mistress loves to take Her slaves out in public and show off Her property. This night at the club they where having strippers so there is a cover charge for men, but girls are free. I'm so happy going there now as they except me as a girl, it is so cool having the security guy put the pink wrist strap on me saying "girls get in free." I know to most people this may sound like a little thing, but to me it's a big step toward being treated as a woman. The club was really hopping, it was hard to find a table but we soon got one where we could see the stage. Slave Jezzy was really nervous, but Mistress has a way about Her, and soon had him relaxed and enjoying his night out as Her slave.

Mistress even had him getting up on stage to dance with two of the strippers, it was really funny. Jezzy only had one problem, as he was getting up on stage he tripped and fell flat on his face, I think he was just really nervous. It was sort of funny, but I also felt bad for him because I know how I would have felt if it was me. Jezzy handled it very well though and got up and went on with his dance with the stripper like nothing happened.

Later on that night I had one of my greatest moments as Sarah. A guy came up to me and asked me to dance with him. OMG I was so shocked and nervous, I just went blank and told him I didn't know how. Mistress overheard me tell him that and asked him if he would teach me. She has taught me a few dances at home, but it's not the same as really doing it in front of a whole club full of people and I was a nervous wreak. To my surprise this pretty cute guy told Mistress he would be glad to teach me to dance, and the next thing I knew I was dancing with a man for the very first time. It was sort of slow dance where He held me close and was showing me how to move my feet. Then he said just follow my moves and off we went dancing. It was so cool, as I looked around I could see Mistress and Jezzy smiling, and could tell by the smile on Her face that Mistress was very proud of me. She alone knows and understands how much work it took to get me to this point. As I was dancing I looked around the club and saw some girls that we have become friends with giving me the thumbs up sign and sort of cheering me on too.

The guy was very nice and I loved dancing with him. After the dance was over he politely thanked me, but I was thinking to myself that it is I that should be thanking him. If he only knew how big of a thing that was for me, to have a guy ask me to dance for the very first time was the greatest. I don't know his name, but I will never forget my first time dancing with a guy.

After our dance I even had three guys at the table next to us come over and talk to me. Even though they didn't ask me to dance, I was still loving all of the male attention. It was like I was dreaming, dancing with a guy then having other guys coming over to talk to me just like they would any other girl. After that I was sort of spaced out the rest of the night. Mistress was so excited for me that I even had one lady tell me that she thought Mistress was more excited for me than I was. But that's the really cool thing about Mistress Malice, She really cares about Her live in slaves, and we both know we are very lucky to serve such special Mistress.

Later on that night I also had another great experience. For The first time I wore a really low cut blouse, Usually I wear tops that sort of hide my breasts, but Mistress said it was time for me to start showing off my body more so that I can show the world my slutty girl side. This top really showed my chest off, and you could even see my tan line from my bathing suit. I must admit I love dressing sexy and slutty, lol. Anyway this girl came up to me and asked me pointing to my breasts, "When did you get them, they look so real?" I told her I got them about a year and a half ago when I started hormones and that they are real. She then said "Oh my god, they are bigger than mine." I just laughed and said thank You, but deep down inside Her words made me feel very special. Between dancing with a man and having people talking about my tits, I was in sissy girl heaven.

Nothing could ruin the girl high I was on tonight. Not even the crazy cracked out nut who accused me of stealing his lost cell phone at the end of our night out could put a dent in my happiness. When he had the security guys come over to check to see if we had it and I kept thinking it would be so cool if they took me in the back room strip searched me, but they didn't, lol. Even after security went through all of our things and proved we didn't take his cell phone the crazy crack head still kept running his mouth after security walked away, and I really thought Mistress was going to kick his ass if he kept it up. She got right up in his face without any fear and told him to leave me alone. Finally the security guys noticed what was going on and told him to leave us alone because we did not have his phone. What a nut he was, but he could not ruin my awesome night out with Mistress Malice. I had such fun with Her and Jezzy, hanging out with Mistress and Her other slaves is always fun, but being out with Mistress learning to be a real girl is always the greatest part of all.

It seems that some thing new happens every day I spend with my Mistress to remind me that I am really becoming a woman in every way. Some of these things good or bad may seem unimportant to most people, but to me they are the things that are helping me become the Woman I always knew I was born to be. Every day I feel stronger and more confident in myself, and today I feel more like a woman than I ever thought possible.

Saturday night Jezzy was invited to visit the house to teach us all to teach Mistress, slave dirty, and myself to play texas hold-em, before his session that night with Mistress Malice, but I think Mistress and dirty already knew how to play because they whooped mine and Jezzy's ass like they've been playing for years. Since we lost Jezzy and I got the loser penalty punishments chosen by Mistress at the beginning of the game, but I don't think either one of us minded, lol.

I even got to see Mistress Malice play in the dungeon with Jezzy after we were done playing cards, but this entry is already kind of long, so in my next entry I will tell You all about Saturday Night with Mistress and Jezzy and our time in the dungeon.

Night Out Dancing

2006-06-25T13:10:53Z

Friday night Mistress Malice decided it was time to take me out again. I love going out with Mistress. She is so much fun, even though I never know what Mistress has in store for me. Well, Friday night was no exception. All I knew was that Mistress picked out one of my shortest skirts and told me to be ready to do anything, as tonight was going to be my first training session going out as a slut. Which I must say really excited me.

As we were leaving, we got a real bad thunder and lighting storm, which as Mistress told me caused Her to cancel some of Her plans for me as we were going to be outside. Mistress had planned to take me to different locations and take pictures of me doing whatever She wished. In a way I was relieved, but the slutty part of me was disappointed.

We did go on with Mistress's plans of going to two local clubs. The first is a club we go to every time We go out. We have become very good friends with the owner and the bartenders. Friday night we also met a new friend who was working the doors at the club. OMG he was so hot!!! He was tall and had very long hair, and very sexy. After talking to him for a while, Mistress had him eating out of the palm of Her hand. He was really into doing what ever Mistress asked. Mistress had him take his hair out of the ponytail and just let in hang, it went down to the small of his back. Then Mistress grabbed him by the hair and was leading him around the front of the club. It was so hot watching her take command of this hot hunk. He was even enjoying it, but of course who wouldn't love My sexy Mistress Malice controlling them? We had such fun with him, Mistress even has pictures which I'm sure She will be putting on Her site soon. Be sure to check them out and get a look at Mistress in action.

Mistress and I then went into play some pool (which we both love doing) and have a few drinks. We had a good time, with more picture taking and talking with our friends. As I was soon to find out this was the easy part of the night for me. Mistress had completely different plans for me at the next club.

The next club was a dance club that I have been to one other time. The club was not as packed as it was the first time we were there, but as it turned out this was a good thing for me, as there were not as many people to watch my performance. This club is free for Girls to get into, so Mistress made me go up to the window to get our bracelets to wear to get in and get free drinks. I was a little nervous because the last time they charged me saying I was a guy. This time Mistress helped me get dressed and work on my makeup to look as sexy and girlie as possible. Well it worked, even with me asking the girl if there was any charge. She said "No charge girls get in free". OMG this was so great, I felt so happy and sexy at that point. Thank You Mistress for Your help in making me into a sexy girl! Once in the club, Mistress had me get a table next to the stage. After awhile of talking and drinking Mistress told me it was time to pay for my night out. Mistress told me I was to go up on stage and do a mock striptease. She told me that this time I would not have to take any clothes off, but I was to get used to moving and dancing sexy and to learn to dance with the stripper pole. Omg, I was so nervous, but did what My Mistress told me to. I got on stage and started to dance the best I could. Being up there all alone in front of all those people was really scary. But I did my best, with Mistress Malice standing off to the side showing me how I should be dancing and posing for pictures. The crowd was really pretty nice, other than a few people who no matter what will never accept me as a woman. But I have learned not to worry about them, I only care about pleasing my Mistress. Much to my surprise a few did throw money on the stage. Mistress said I did very well for the first time, and that with practice I will get better. She is even thinking of having me install a stripper pole in Her dungeon, so I can practice. I must admit it was a lot of fun. I have this slutty side which I think is just dying to get out, and Mistress knows that and is helping to bring it out. I really enjoyed my our night out, but the main thing is that I please Mistress. I think in a way Mistress was even a little surprised that I was enjoying myself since I have been a little worried about what other people think, which has been holding me back from being the girl I know I am. Mistress has been working hard with me to get me over this, which I think I'm starting to learn. The only people I need to please is first My Mistress and second myself, and tonight I believe I did both.

Mistress will be putting some of the pictures up on Her site soon. Please take a look and let Mistress or me know what You think. I have yet to see them myself but look forward to seeing them.

Thank You Mistress Malice for a great night out.

Being Insulted And Laugh At

2006-04-15T12:01:41Z

Saturday night Mistress took me out to a local night club. Mistress and I have become pretty good friends with the club owner and bartenders, as a matter of fact Mistress even teaches some of the new bartenders how to mix drinks. We were standing at the bar talking and laughing, and Mistress was having me look around the club and pick out the guy I thought was the sexiest. I love checking out guys. Anyway as we were talking this guy came up to us and sort of stared at me , then put his hand out to shake hands with me. He was saying something like " welcome to the club ", it was hard to hear with the band playing. But the whole time he was staring at me really weird like. And then after saying something to Mistress, then he took my hand again and said goodbye. It was really weird I wasn't sure what he was doing. I guess he caught me by surprise because I didn't know what to say. But I looked over at Mistress and I could see Her watching this guy walk back to his table, so I look to see what he was doing to. Then I saw him slap high fives with his friends and all start laughing. Now I knew why Mistress was watching him so hard and had a mean look on Her face. Mistress thought this guy was making fun of me but wasn't sure until She saw him back with his friends. And as for me, my happy thoughts of having my first guy hit on me quickly turned to sadness and shame. As I turn back to Mistress She told me " it will be all right, stay here and I'll be right back". Well off Mistress went right over to this table full of guys and girls all laughing. The guy that came up to me saw Mistress coming and sort of lean over and grab his girl friends arm like he knew he was in trouble. I saw Mistress walk right up behind him and lean over and talk into his ear to make sure he could hear Her. Then I noticed they all stopped laughing. Mistress the turn away and walk out the front door, a second later Mistress came back with Her new whip in hand.Everyone turn to see Mistress and wondered what She was going to do. I could see the fear in the faces of the people who were laughing at me as Mistress walked toward them. Mistress walk up to there table and stood there with Her whip, sort of playfully playing { I think} with it. Then Mistress walk back to me at the bar and ask me if I would like Her to whip that guy. Well I didn't have time to even answer Her because as we were talking the guy and his friends all got up and quickly left the club. Mistress had punked out the guy and sent him out of the club like a little scared boy along with his friends. I must say it was really funny. Thank You Mistress for protecting me, someday soon I hope with Your help I'll be able to handle people like him myself.

Although it took me a little while to get over what he did to me, Mistress and I went on to drinking and checking out guys and having fun with the rest of the people in the club. Mistress even got to whip a few people, although it was all in fun. Which is more than I could say it would have been for that guy had She whipped him. All in all it was a fun time and every experience good or bad will only help to make me a stronger women.

What Is To Become Of Sarah Lynn?

2006-03-22T03:41:43Z

Sitting in my room tonight I have never felt so alone, depressed, or scared. The reason I say alone is because I'm afraid to tell Mistress Malice or my doctor how I'm feeling. Not that Mistress or my doctor would not understand, but that they may out of concern for me make me stop taking hormones. Mistress and I have had a very special connection since we met and I know Her first concern is my good health as it is with all Her slaves. So I say alone only because I'm afraid to tell Her.

Well I guess I better say what is wrong before I go on much more. I have been taking hormones for almost two years, with the amount going up every six months or so. A few months ago my doctor put me on the highest dose of estrogen, Avodart and spironolactone I can take. Well the last few weeks I have been pretty sick. I'm thinking my problem is with my liver, which can be damaged by my meds. Also even thought I knew I shouldn't drink alcohol I still did. The last couple of weeks have been the hardest. At work I can feel my strength is gone half way through the day. My whole body aches, I'm so tired. But I can not stop taking the hormones. And my doctor is in NY while I'm in Georgia. I'm hoping to get to NY in the next few weeks. But I'm not sure I want to even see my doctor.

What will become of Sarah Lynn with out the hormones? If I stop taking them, I then become just another guy in a dress? My dream of being Sarah is gone. Can I go back to being a guy, NO!!!!! I have just with Mistress Malice's help, found myself as Sarah and now I fear I will lose Her. Being Sarah has been something I have waited and sacrificed for my whole life and now when that dream is in sight it seems it can not be after all. Maybe I waited to long, maybe I'm to old, maybe Sarah was never meant to be. Maybe this is all in my head or maybe as some would say, this is gods way of punishing me and this is what I deserve for daring to become the person I was born to be.

So I'm sitting here tonight trying to find a answer that I'm not sure I want to know. If the answer is giving up hormones, that to me is the same as giving up Sarah. I'm not sure I have the strenght or desire to return to my old life. So the question is, if I can't be Sarah and I can't go back to being bill, what is left?

Spring Fever

2006-03-12T13:53:55Z

Here in Georgia the weather is starting to get really nice. This weekend temps are in the 80's. Coming from the north east, this is a big change for me, as spring there is still months away.

I really look forward to summer. I can't wait to wear short dresses and skirts. To lay in the sun with my new bikini and get a nice tan, although I need to lose a little weight first. Just the chance for me to be outside in the sunshine as Sarah Lynn is a dream come true. Where I live with Mistress Malice is sort of private. We are in the woods and also have a pond for fishing and swimming. So I will be able to be outside wearing what ever I want and not worry about what other people think. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel so free and at peace here. Maybe it's the warm weather and sunshine, or the joy of being able to go out as Sarah shopping or just go to the grocery store, or for the first time having friends who except me as I am and are not worried about being seen out with me. Or maybe it's just spring fever or a combination of all the above. The one thing I do know is that none of this would have been possible if not for Mistress Malice.

A Big Change

2006-02-19T23:46:52Z

Saturday I went shopping with some friends to buy a new wig. We had made plans to shop for awhile then go bowling.But Little did I know at the time just how important this day would become in my life.

Although I've been living as Sarah Lynn for about six months now, I've never felt what I would call normal.In my mind I just could not adjust to all the laughs and rude looks I got when out as Sarah. I had this feeling that things where never going to be right in my mind. That maybe I wasn't strong enough to put up with all the ridicule and insulting looks I was getting, that maybe I was never meant to be Sarah lynn in this life. I was begining to think that maybe I should take the easy way out, a thought that I've had before but always was able to ignore. But everything changed today.

Today after a great morning of shopping with my best friends we all went bowling. I had on my new wig which they all help me pick out, and I love the look it gives me. It's a real hair wig which I have been wanting for a long time.

While bowling as Sarah for the first time something happen in my mind. It was like someone flicked a switch on in my mind. I remember the moment it happen. I just got a spare and I turned around and looked back to see my friends smiling and clapping. I took a quick look around the bowling alley and to my surprise no one else seem to be paying any attention to me. Maybe it was just in my mind that no one was looking, or maybe they really weren't looking what ever, it didn't matter.That's when it hit me, for the first time I felt normal. For what ever reason no one else except my friends cared what I was doing or how I looked, I was just a normal girl bowling with her friends. It's hard to really explain how I felt, but it doesn't matter if the feeling was just in my mind and maybe people were still staring at me. The important thing was that for me in my mind and heart I didn't care any more. I was with my friends and I am Sarah Lynn just a normal girl.

Christmas as Sarah Or Bill?

2005-12-18T16:40:40Z

This year for the first time I am not looking forward to Christmas. Christmas is a time of year when You look forward to spending time with Your family and friends, but for me it is a time of year that I must decide to spend the time with bill's family or Sarah's. A decision that is tearing me apart.

As bill I will be going back to my home town to spend time with my family and friends. But the problem is these are bill's family and friends not Sarah's. They either do not except me or do not know me as Sarah. I would have to dress and act as bill for a whole week, something which I'm not sure I can do. My mind and body no longer look or act as bill. Also there will be lots of question about my moving to Georgia. Then there is the fear of wondering who notices the changes in my body, due to hormones and I'm sure they will notice that my ears are pierced. I know that in time I must come clean with them about who I am, but I'm not ready to do that yet, and I don't think Christmas is a good time to come out to them as Sarah. As much as I hope they would understand, deep down I know they would never understand Sarah. But I feel that I must go home to say a proper good bye to them all. When I left back in September I really didn't handle it to well, and never got to see my kids or grandchildren to say good bye. So I think this is a good chance to do it, as everyone will be together and hopefully I can say good bye and try to make them understand a little about why I left. I just hope I have the strength to get thru the week as bill.

What makes all of this even harder is that I will be leaving Sarah's family and friends in Georgia. The thing about my family and friends in Georgia is that most know me as Sarah and bill and except me either way. I don't have to hide or pretend to be someone I'm not. My Family cares and loves me no matter what or who I am. In the 3 months I have lived here I have grown and learned so much about life and people. It's hard to believe at my age that I really knew very little about life and how to be happy.

I was really looking forward to spending my first Christmas as Sarah with my new family, it's breaking my heart that I can't do that. I just want them to know that I will be thinking about them and will miss them very much. I love You all and will be looking forward to returning home to You. That's the one thing that makes this all a little easier, is that I know they will be here for me when I get back.

Merry Christmas
Love Sarah

Night Out At A Latino Club

2005-11-27T16:53:41Z

Last Night Mistress Malice took me out to a Latino club. OMG I had so much fun, Mistress is so cool to be with.

As we walk into the club we looked to see if any of the pool tables were empty, as Mistress and I both love to play pool, but all tables were being used. So We went to the bar to get a drink. As I was ordering our drinks Mistress walk over to watch the guys playing pool. Once we got a table where we could see everyone playing, Mistress told me " I'll be right back, I'm going to get us a table." Mistress walk right up to a table and laid Her money down so She could play the winner. At this table there were two guys playing and about four of there friends watching, They were all playing for money. I think they were all kind of shock to see Mistress put Her money up to play. As we waited for the winner, Mistress and I had a drink and listen to the DJ play some music. After this short latino guy won the game, Mistress walk right over and racked up the balls, just like She owned the table, which She really did from that point on lol. About half way through the game with Mistress winning, the guy she was playing sort of gave up and another guy took his place, ( I guess he was embarrassed to be losing to Mistress with all his friends watching). Any way Mistress said something to them about switching guys in the middle of the game, but then She said what the hell go ahead and lets finish the game. Well it wasn't to long after that and Mistress knock in the eight ball and won the game. It was kind of funny to see all those guys looking at each other, like what the hell happen? During the game I put money on the table to play the winner, which I knew would be Mistress. As I was racking the balls to play Mistress We were watching these guys just talking and looking at each other saying, ( What the hell is going on She just walk in and took our table away. ) It was so Funny. They didn't dare put up any money to play the winner of our game, they just left with there tails between there legs and went back to the bar. Mistress And I had the table for the rest of the night, playing a few games. Mistress is a very good pool player and I just love playing with Her.

After awhile Mistress and I just sat at a table and had a few drinks while listening to the music. Then we noticed there were four girls looking at us with a look of, who do You two think You are, and sort of laughing . While Mistress just looked right back and smiled. Mistress has this way about Her where She can just smile and stare right back at people and with out even saying a word and gets Her point across, ( Like You bitches aren't going to intimidate me so back off ). It's pretty cool how She does that. Any way Mistress wanted to dance which made me really nervous, I've never dance as Sarah before, especially with a whole club full of guys watching. But up We got, me doing my best to look good dancing, and Mistress looking very sexy dancing, I could feel all the guys in the place watching Her. Mistress did Her best to help me dance, and even though She was trying to help me, She was still drawing a lot of attention from both guys and girls, sort of cheering Her on and saying, ( You go Girl ). One of the bitches who was trying to give us a hard time tried to dance next to us thinking She could out do Mistress, well that didn't happen. After Mistress and Her bumped a few times, I think She knew She was out classed and took Her boyfriend and went off into the corner, much to the pleasure of most people watching. I think most of the people there knew that these four girls were giving Us a hard time for what ever reason ( maybe because they knew I was a TG, or maybe because they were jealous of Mistress ), So they sort of were cheering us on to let us know that most people there were cool with us.

After another drink Mistress and I decided we better head home. It was really a great night, I feel so comfortable when I'm out with Mistress and She is so much fun. It is great for me to watch Her in action, when She walks into a place She just takes right over and not in a bad way. She has such a great allure about her, people just seem to be attracted to Her. I hope that some of Her confidence and courage to be the person she is will rub off on me. She has such a great attitude about life. And I hope to learn a lot from Her. All in all it was a great night, Mistress is not only a good pool player but also a very good dancer, me on the other hand, I'm not bad at pool but have a lot to learn about dancing, and I look forward to doing more of both.

Living As Sarah, Working as Bill

2005-10-23T13:02:52Z

As I settle into my new life as Sarah Lynn I have found somethings are harder than I thought they would be. A few things I find hard are picking out the right clothes to wear everyday, Doing my makeup on a daily bases,wich includes shaving twice a day. Also going out to the store or to restaurants. All of which I am getting better at With Mistress Malice's help. But it is stll a struggle to adjust to it all at times.

The hardest thing for me at this time is that I have to work. So everyday I need to get up in the morning and remove all signs of Sarah and get ready to go to work as bill. Then when I get home from work I remove all signs of bill to be Sarah. Although even at work there are still small parts of Sarah showing through. I have a really hard time letting her go completely, even to work. But I'm not just talking about my appreance on the out side, it's also very hard mentally being two different people everyday. I often catch myself at work talking, walking, or acting as Sarah. Then when I realize what I'm doing I quickly look around to see if any of the guys I work with noticed me. I have even started out the door in the morning when I notice I am still wearing rings, necklaces or my nail polish or makup are not completely removed. Mentally and physically ( well not physically completely but hormones have really changed my body ) I am Sarah now, so it is hard for me to be bill even for a little while. I feel so uncomfortable as bill and can't wait to get home to be Sarah. I really hate for the people that do know me as Sarah to even see me as bill. But they all accept me eithier way, but in a way that makes it even harder for me to think that the people that care and love Sarah have to also make room in there hearts for bill. But for now I will have to learn to accept that I have to be two different people. I hope to someday pass enough as Sarah to be able to get a job and be Sarah all the time. Mistress Malice And I have talk about doing just that, and with Her help it may someday become a reality.

If anyone reading this has any questions or comments please feel free to post a comment or email me. Writing this journal in part is to help me understand who I am. But it also is my intention to try and help other people understand what being a transgendered person is all about. So feel free to ask or post any questions or comments good or bad. I'd like to know what You think.

In Georgia With Mistress Malice

2005-09-24T12:59:18Z

Well My dream has come true. I have finally arrived in Georgia and met Mistress Malice.
I was very nervous as I was getting dress to meet Mistress for the first time, I did my best to look as good as I could for Her hoping that Mistress would be pleased with me. When Mistress knock on my door I thought I would die, my heart was pounding so fast and I was so nervous. As I open the door, I got my first look at the Mistress I will be serving for the rest of my life, and omg Mistress is beautiful. So for all Mistress's other subs and fans I would just like to tell You that Mistress Malice is even more beautiful and sexy in person. The pics on Her site are great but they can not compare to seeing Mistress in person. When I saw Mistress for the first time I knew I had made the right choice to be with Her and serve Her. And to me even though She is gorgeous, looks had nothing to do with my feelings. I could sense that I was finally safe, and with someone who would care about me and protect me. Mistress Malice and I have always had this connection to each other long distance and always seem to sense what each other was feeling or thinking. So when I first saw Her these feeling I could sense or connection was for real, my feelings of fear and loneliness were gone and replaced by happiness and the sense that SarahLynn was safe, Sarahlynn was Home!!!

Sense that day We have done many things together. Mistress help me with my makeup that night and then we went out to dinner. We have been girl shopping, Mistress has had my ears pierced and now Mistress is teaching me to be the girl I always knew I was born to be. I will write in more detail about our adventures soon.

I would just like to thank Mistress Malice for all She has done for me. If not for Mistress, I'm not sure Sarahlynn would have ever been free to be herself. It will be my pleasure to serve Her and care for Her. Sarahlynn will be devoted to and belong to Mistress's for ever. What more could I ask for!
Mistress's sissy
Sarahlynn